Where Love Lives
In Tagalog, there is a phrase: Mahal Kita.
It essentially means "I love you" but there is a deeper meaning to the phrase. To understand why, we must break down each word and define it.
Mahal has two meanings:
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Love (v.)
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Expensive, valuable, priceless (adj.)
Kita (pr.) is:
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Combining "I" and "you" into a single word
So when you say mahal kita, you aren't simply saying "I love you." It's more like saying, "We share this love." In this way, people are more intertwined, rather than one person giving love to the other. It's a bond between two souls, not a transaction.
To tell someone "mahal kita" is not only to say that you love them but you also value and treasure them. Love, in this sense, is expensive because it costs us our time, patience, and pieces of who we are. Love is not easy, but it's worth it.
In my family, we don't really say "I love you" or "mahal kita" or “我爱你.” Instead our love (like most Asian families do) is shown through our actions.
It's when my dad buys a kilo of mangoes everytime I go back because he knows how much I miss them. One of my favorite things to do is peel the mangoes and eat them straight up with my dad, both of us hovering over the sink as the juices dripped from our fingertips.
It's when my sisters drive through hours of traffic to bring me home safely from the airport - and also when they give me the aux so I can choose the music. No matter how much they hate my old punk rock, they let me listen to it just because I love it.
It's when my mom mixes dried herbs together for hours whenever I have a fever. She sticks by my side no matter what. It's also when she nags me to bring a jacket everytime I go out because she's scared I'll get cold. Or when she forces me to bring packs of medicine to school just in case I could not reach her when I felt unwell.
The way my family loves one another makes me feel at home in a way no one else ever has. I never saw it before, but after going abroad for so many years, I realized just how much they loved me. You don't really understand what you have until you lose it. Crossing this physical border allowed me to cross emotional borders within my family, bringing us closer in ways I never expected.